I wrote and recorded “Fernando” when I was twelve years old. I felt the calling to make music since I was eight but never did out of fear of what people would think. Once my brother beat cancer and went into remission, I realized that if he could do that, I could do anything in the world, and thus, my first song was born.

— Carlos Pineda

This part of my life is called misery
The worst thing that could happen in history
My little brother was in pain
We went to the doctor to see what was with his brain
They told us he had cancer
Fell to the ground, crying
My Dad said, “Get up, you got to be man, son.
You got to be there for Tito
You got to be his mother fucking hero.”
But Dad, what if he doesn’t make it?
“He will, son just got to pray for it.”
I know, Dad, but it makes me sad
I hate to see him in pain
I wanna see my little brother’s face again
I wanna see him drive his first car
I wanna see him go far in life
I wanna watch TV like we did when we were three
Wake up, dude; I need you
My life sucks without you
I’ll pray for you
Just get well soon, man

When I was seven years old, we got a phone call saying,
“Dear Mrs. Pineda, your son’s got leukemia
And I know it’s hard to process
But the test came out positive.”
And on that same day, we packed our bags
And moved away to another state
Hate the fact that you took the pain
Your face changed
Hate and discriminate
From the kids who made fun of your naked head
Dude, you took so many meds
And I’m blowing this flow
Until my face turns red
Laying in bed thinking of all the fights
And if you died, I would die too inside
And although you’re in remission
You could die at any minute
So your only missions
Live it to the fullest
Never know when you’ll get hit by that bullet
So just know that I wrote this
I love you, I care for you
And I will always be here for you

Four years passed, said we’d see him laugh again
No more shenanigans, let’s watch Backyardigans
He’d live a full life
Tears went down my brown eyes
Then I realized love him more than life itself
Never be by yourself
Always be by your side
I’ll sing them lullabies
Till you’re in bed
Having dreams up in your head
I love you, dude
So proud of you
You made it through
This fear that was my worst nightmare
Mom was shedding tears
All I heard were cheers
You survived so strong
That’s why you up in my song
Glad you find
Miss the times that we had
Playing ball on the grass
Time flies by fast when I think about the past
And how you would always ask
If we could roam the woods
Hide and seek, don’t you peak
Count to ten; look for me
Don’t you worry about a thing
Cuz every little thing, Is gonna be alright.